An Insight to the Light of Our Love
by captainswan121
Summary: A series of CaptainSwan one-shots, based in any season or my own personal AUs. **MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS, WILL GIVE WARNING IF SAID ONE-SHOT CONTAINS SPOILERS**
1. A Date, A Promise, A Future

It had been a quiet ten days since the fiasco with Rumpelstiltskin trying to cleave himself from that cursed dagger. After Belle had ordered him to leave the town for good, things became calm. Emma had finally settled into a normal life with Henry, her parents, and of course, Killian. Every other night, she and Henry would meet up in Regina's office and discuss Operation Mongoose, but alas, no progress had been made yet. Belle and Killian were trying to get the fairies out of that blasted magic hat, but their situation was the same as that of Operation Mongoose: no progress to be had.

No one knew that just a few hundred miles outside of Storybrooke, Rumpelstiltskin, Ursula, Cruella, and Maleficent were concocting a scheme of their own: a plot to finally get _their_ happy endings.

Back in Storybrooke, it was late in the day and Emma was walking to the sheriff's station after failing to track down the town's latest "criminal" when her phone buzzed; it was a text from David. _Scarlett tried to bust into the library again. Got him here at the station. I'll handle him, take the night off._ A small smile toyed at her lips. Finally, a night off from work! Usually she had to file all of the paperwork while David rushed home to baby Neal, but since Mary-Margaret had found a suitable babysitter in Granny, the need to run home and cut the workday short had disappeared. Thankfully, tonight was a night off from Operation Mongoose as well, and Henry was staying at Regina's anyways.

Her phone buzzed again; this time, it was Killian. _Your father told me he gave you the night off. What do you say about having that next "official" date you were talking about? Dinner and a movie at home sound good?_ An even bigger smile played on her face as she replied. Once again, her phone vibrated. _Great! See you in an hour, love,_ his text read. Emma hurried home to her apartment and jumped in the shower. A million thoughts were running about in her head. _What number date was this again? Where are we going to dinner? Which movie did he pick out, or is he expecting me to find something? What do I wear? Am I spending the night? What do I tell Henry?_

It seemed that only moments later, a distinguished knocking pattern rapped on her door, though actually the entire hour had passed. Nervously, Emma smoothed out the invisible wrinkles of her dress' skirt and opened the door. Before her stood her pirate, one arm hidden behind his back. His hair had small traces of gel in it, just enough to keep the little pieces in place. He was clad in his new leather jacket, a black dress shirt (with the first few buttons left undone, of course), and - were those... _blue jeans_?!

"Wow, Killian," she murmured breathlessly, a smile blooming in her cheeks as she let her gaze float all over the man in front of her.

"Aye," was all he could say as his eyes wandered over her figure. From the way he gazed into her emerald eyes, down the length of the velvet purple dress she wore, and back up to rest on her lips, Emma felt the love he felt for her. "Ah, are you ready to go to dinner?" he asked carefully, as if he was still trying to find his voice.

"Yeah," she said with a smile, staring sweetly into his eyes. Killian fidgeted a little bit. "Hey, don't be nervous," she added, kissing him on the cheek. "It's only me."

"Aye, that it is," he murmured. "It's just, I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you, Emma, love. Forgive me for being nervous…"

Emma laughed lightly, smiling, and pulled him in for a hug. "Of course I forgive you," she said into his chest. "Mmm, you smell good. Did you put cologne on?"

Killian blushed, thankful that Emma couldn't see it. "Aye," he said. "Oh, uh, these are for you, love." He pulled out the surprise from behind his back.

"Oh, Killian…" was all Emma could say as her eyes fell upon the bouquet of roses. "They're beautiful!"

"They couldn't ever compare to your beauty, Swan," he proclaimed softly. His sweet words made Emma blush, and she pulled him into another hug.

"I love them, Killian. Thank you," she murmured softly.

After putting the roses in a small vase with water, the two lovers left the apartment. They walked to dinner hand in hand, making small talk. Soon they arrived in front of their destination: a small restaurant called Tapenade Bistro. The host walked them to their seats, and Killian held Emma's out for her. Smiling, she took her jacket and purse off and sat down. Killian took the seat across from her and grasped her hand in his one good one.

"It feels so good to sit," Emma started to say. "I've been on my feet all day trying to solve those petty crimes that keep happening around town. First it was someone trying to get their stuff back from the pawnshop while Belle wasn't there, then there was a little dine-and-dash at Granny's. And of course they had to happen at nearly the exact same time, so I was trying to run from place to place and still get all my work done." She looked up at Killian apologetically. "Sorry, I must be boring you to death about my -"

"Just the opposite, love. By the sound of it, you've had a stressful day. Tell me more about it, maybe it'll help take the stress away?" Killian soothed. His thumb rubbed small little circles on the back of her hand, and Emma was touched by how simple but romantic the gesture was.

Emma blushed, and continued to explain how difficult and stressful the day was for her. "And, to top it all off, Scarlett decided that it would be perfect to try to bust into the library, _again_. David said that he'd take care of him, but I kind of wish that I could help, too," she concluded. "But hey, at least he isn't here to ruin our date this time, right?"

Killian laughed. "Aye, too right, love."

Their waiter came with their drinks, and they ordered their food. When he returned with the food, Emma and Killian were laughing about an old pirate tale of Killian's.

"Wait, so you're telling me that you actually fought off a drunk, with a stick, in the middle of the Enchanted Forest during the missing year?" she exclaimed through her giggling.

Killian flashed that incredible smile of his, the one that made her heart melt. "Aye. It was rather entertaining, if I do say so myself," he chuckled out. "Thank you, mate," he said to the waiter as he placed the dishes in front of the couple. "Shall we, Swan?"

Emma nodded, and the two began eating, yet still chatting idly. Killian recounted more tales about his pirating days, and Emma told light stories of her time in the foster system. Before long, the food had disappeared, and they had shared all of the amusing events from their past. The sky had grown dark, and the first stars were starting to appear like little specks of glitter on a navy blue canvas. "It's getting a little late," Emma said quietly. "Didn't you have a movie you wanted to see?"

Killian smiled again. "Aye, love," he murmured. I'll pay for the dinner, don't worry." With that, he got up, leaving Emma at the table with a smile on her face and musing over the plans for the rest of the night.

 _Where is this gonna go_? she thought. _Does he expect anything to happen, or is this just a "casual" date?_ Her wandering mind was halted when her pirate returned to the table.

"Ready, Swan?" he asked, smiling. She took his outstretched hand, grabbed her jacket, and left the restaurant with Killian by her side.

"So, Killian, what movie have you picked out?" she bemused quietly, looking up at him.

"That, love, is a surprise," he replied playfully, kissing her forehead. Emma pouted mockingly, only to earn another kiss from Killian. "You'll see soon."

Quietly they walked back home from the restaurant, hand in hand once again. Suddenly Killian took them off course.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Home," he replied with a smile.

Emma was confused, and stopped walking. "Killian, you know my apartment is that way," she said, gesturing with her free hand. "Where are we really going?"

His smile grew, causing the skin around his eyes to crease slightly. "I told you, we're going home, love."

"I don't understand…"

"Shh, love, we're almost there, I promise," he soothed, tugging gently on her wrist. Emma slowly started walking again, following Killian. He led them down to a quieter part of Storybrooke, and she could hear the faint lapping of water and smell pine in the air.

Soon they stopped walking. Before she even got a chance to look around to find out where Killian had taken her, she heard him say,"Close your eyes, Swan." Her eyes fluttered closed, and soon she heard the soft _click_ of a door unlocking.

"Killian, what are we doing?" she asked again.

He kissed her forehead softly. "Welcome home, Emma," he whispered.

Emma's eyes opened. She was standing in front of a small stone cottage that seemed big enough for a small family. "What…?" she asked softly. Looking over to Killian, she saw a large smile on his face, illuminated by moonlight.

"Welcome home."

"You mean…?"

"Aye."

"This is…?"

"Ours," came his soft reply.

Emma smiled a little bit as she stepped into the cottage. Fumbling around and flipping the light switch, the room she was in was illuminated softly. A small sofa sat against one wall, and a stone-lined hearth took up another. The hardwood floor was partially covered by a deep blue area rug, and small pieces of nautical memorabilia hung on the walls. In the far right corner of the room sat a small flat screen television. Next to the sofa was a comfortable-looking armchair, and in front of the two pieces of furniture stood a small glass coffee table. Emma walked towards the fireplace, and when she turned around to face him, a framed picture on the wall near the door caught her eye. She walked towards it slowly, and smiled. Killian had taken some pictures of them a while back and he apparently made them into a collage. Some were of just them, some were of them and Henry, and there were even group shots of Emma, Killian, Henry, and Emma's parents in the mix.

"Oh, Killian…" she breathed out. His arms encircled her waist from behind, his head resting on her shoulder. "This is…"

"Shh, Swan. You don't need to explain anything. I did this for you, for us, because I thought that maybe it was time for us to take things further, to start looking forwards to the future," Killian murmured in her ear. Emma smiled and spun around to face him.

"It's beautiful, Killian. It's much more than beautiful. It's touching, it's incredibly romantic. It's absolutely perfect," she told him, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you," she murmured.

He blinked once, twice, as if he didn't understand what she just said. "Emma," he breathed.

"I know it's kind of unexpected, but we've been together a long time now, and I really care about you, Killian, I lo - _mnph_!" her words were cut off by her pirate capturing her lips, his hand coming up to tangle in her blonde tresses and his other arm holding her firmly against him. She quickly responded to the kiss, arms sliding up to lock behind his neck at the base of his skull. They kissed languidly for a few moments, then he slowed and peppered her face with little ones, smiling, and making sure to cover every inch of her beautiful face.

"I thought you'd never say it, love," he finally whispered. "I thought your walls wouldn't come down so quickly, especially after Baelfire…"

"He may have been the reason why my walls were up, but you, Killian, you brought them tumbling down. Ever since you pretended to be a victim of an ogre massacre, since the swordfight on the beach, since you followed me to New York to save me, since you jumped after me when I fell through Zelena's time portal...I knew I had strong feelings for you, and now I know what they are; I love you, Killian Jones," Emma told him with a smile. His face mirrored hers, and the two of them just stood in the middle of the room smiling broadly at one another.

"I love you too, Emma Swan, I always will," Killian finally said, softly and lovingly. She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, then his cheeks.

"Now what do you think about checking out the rest of our house?" she said, a sly smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I think that can be easily arranged, love," he replied, grabbing her hand gently and leading her through their new home.


	2. It Just Takes Time

"Swan, please," Killian begged her as she walked out the door. Emma spun around and glared at him, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy from crying. Her hands sparked every so often, her magic starting to run freely again. "Please, Emma. Just hear me out!"

"Why should I, Hook?" she yelled, and the wounded look on his face sent a sharp wrench of guilt straight to her gut. She never called him 'Hook' anymore unless she was really upset with him. This time, she was beyond furious. "You were out with her. You were out with Lily."

"Aye, I was, but it isn't what you think, Swan!" he urged.

"I saw you kiss her, Killian. I saw how you looked at her," she replied, her voice suddenly breaking and going soft as she averted his gaze. "I thought we really had something, Killian."

"We do, lass, just let me explain, please."

Emma took a deep breath and sighed. "Fine. You get five minutes to explain," she relented. Killian reached for her hand and tried to lead her to the couch to sit down, but Emma tugged it away and sat on her own, far away from him.

"I wanted to surprise you, Emma, for your birthday. I went to your parents' apartment for help, but neither of them were there. I checked the station, the school, but they weren't anywhere. Even Regina was busy, and Henry was with his mates and I didn't want to bother him. Belle was with Will, too." he began. She looked at him, the anger still rolling like the sea inside of her and causing her magic to spark from her fingers again. "Lily found me, to talk about something about pointless. Then she talked about you, and it reminded me that you two spent quite a bit of time together as children, which got me thinking about how maybe she could help."

"That still doesn't explain the kissing, and you're running out of time, Killian," she stated plainly.

"We got to talking, and she gave me a lot of good ideas, one of which was a romantic dinner date. All I could think of was how you'd react to the date, and you know how I look when I think of you, Swan. But I didn't know that she was flirting until she leaned in and kissed me," Killian recalled, his voice going sour when the memory filled his mind. "I pushed her away immediately, told her that I wasn't close to being interested, that I loved you. But I guess you left at that part…"

"Yeah. I did leave. I left because you kissed her, Killian. Do you know how much that hurt to watch? Do you know how much it hurts now to look at you, even knowing that whether or not it was your fault you kissed someone else who, might I add, is technically my other half thanks to my parents?" Emma exclaimed. Her heart clenched painfully as the hurt washed over her again, new tears springing to her eyes. When Killian failed to reply, she muttered, "It hurt a lot, Killian, and it still hurts now."

"Emma, I'm sorry," he murmured. "I truly am. Please tell me that you can forgive me, Emma, love, please."

Emma looked at her pirate, the man she still loved, with tear-blurred eyes. "I...I don't know, maybe. But it's going to take time, Killian. I'm just really upset right now."

"I understand, love. I'll wait as long as I have to," Killian replied. "Whenever you feel okay again, I'll be here. I love you, Emma."

She sighed. "I know, Killian. And I love you too, even if it doesn't seem like it right now." A tear rolled down her cheek as the guilt of shutting him out and not forgiving him threatened to overcome her. Emma moved a little bit closer to him on the couch, missing his warmth and his embrace. Killian didn't come closer, so she stood up and walked over to where he was and sat down again. He looked at her with hesitant eyes, and she nodded slightly as to say It's okay, you can wrap your arms around me, and he did just that. A sigh of relief fell from his lips as she rested her head on his chest, and his good arm came around to rub her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered as her guilt claimed control over her emotions. Her pent-up tears now flowed freely from her eyes, wetting his shirt.

"Don't apologize, Swan. You didn't do anything wrong, I did. I shouldn't have been so daft to her advances," he said quietly, regret and frustration creeping into his voice. It did nothing to stop her crying, and she repeated her apologies into his chest, voice cracking and breaking.

"I put you through hell again," she confessed.

"Emma, love, it's okay. You're forgiven, you're always forgiven. I promise you, I'm always gonna be here for you, no matter what you do."

She felt his soft lips press on the top of her head, felt his love for her in his words and his embrace. How could she stay mad at him? He hadn't been the one to start the kiss, it wasn't his fault, she thought; yet here she was, upset with the fact that he was victimized by her darkness again. How could she keep doing this to the man she loved? Her tears started anew, the sobs rocking her body viciously. Killian only tightened his grip on her, holding her close as she cried, tears coming to his eyes at the sight of his broken Swan. Neither of them knew how long it was, but eventually Emma stopped crying.

"I do forgive you, Killian. It wasn't your fault," she whispered out, the words cracking and her voice hoarse from crying. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you out at first, I should've trusted you."

"Shh, Swan, all is forgiven. I wasn't ever mad at you, or less than anything but in love with you," Killian murmured against her hair. His good hand stroked through her blonde tresses, soothing her. Emma picked up her head and looked at him. His eyes shone and were a little red rimmed; how had she not noticed that he had been crying too? Her thumb brushed along his scruff as she cupped his face in her hand, and he smiled a little bit. Slowly, she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, then his lips. He kissed back gently, and wrapped his arms around her back again. "I love you, Emma Swan," he whispered against her lips, making her smile a bit.

"I love you too, Killian Jones," she replied softly.

They both stayed on the sofa, curled into each other, for hours later, until the sun set and the stars glimmered in the sky outside of the window. Finally, all seemed to be well in the Jones-Swan home.


	3. I'll Keep You Safe

On a sunny day in Storybrooke, Maine, Killian Jones was on the Jolly Roger, sailing peacefully in the waters surrounding the town. When he passed the docks, he saw a woman's silhouette standing where he docks his ship, hair swirling around her in long tangles in time with the steady wind. Quickly, he turned the Jolly around, heading in to greet the lady.

"Hey there, sailor," Emma Swan said sultrily, lips curling up in a smile.

"Hello, lass," he called down from the wheel, his own lips turning up into a grin at the sight of his lovely Swan. "What brings you to the docks today?"

"Oh, not much. I was just wandering around and ended up here. Mind if I joined you?"

"I would despair if you didn't, love," he said, leaving the wheel to grab a board for her to walk on. As soon as her feet touched the deck, he hugged her and claimed her lips in a passionate kiss.

"Well hi, Killian," she giggled as he pulled away. "Someone's excited to see me."

"I'm always excited to see you, love," he murmured between the kisses he pressed to her forehead, nose, and cheeks.

The wind picked up, gusting fiercely and whipping Emma's hair around her face. "Wanna take this inside, Killian? It's getting really windy, and I heard it's supposed to rain pretty hard later today," she asked.

Killian nodded. "Aye, let me just take her out for a bit longer?"

Emma laughed and smiled as Killian nearly scrambled to the wheel once more. She loved how excited he got whenever he sailed his ship, especially now that he could. The Jolly Roger turned, sharply but precisely, and off they went. Not much later, another strong gust of wind rushed over the waters, catching in the sails and causing the ship to pitch to one side. Emma lost her footing and fell to the deck with a breathy _oof_. Just as she got up again, the ship lurched to the other side as yet another gust offset the boat, and downs she went again.

"Swan!" Killian shouted as he saw her tumble. She called back and told him that she was fine, that she only fell, and that he needed to stay at the wheel. He looked at her intensely, worry coloring his face and fear shining in his eyes, yet stayed at the wheel nonetheless. Emma struggled to her feet, and made her way over to her pirate. "Are you okay, Emma?" he asked when she stood next to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, rubbing her arm where she fell. She gently tugged it away from Killian as he tried to catch her arm to make sure she was unscathed.

"I'm just worried about you, love," he told her.

"I know, Killian, but I'm fine. It's just a little bump," she assured him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I think that's the last of the wind for now, anyways," she added. Just as she finished speaking, a bright flash of lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder resounded through the air. Emma jumped in surprise, and Killian wrapped one arm around her.

"S'okay, Swan, just a little bit of lightning," he murmured in her ear. Part of Emma wanted to shrug him off and remind him that she wasn't scared of a little thunderstorm, but those thoughts were quickly diminished when another bolt of lightning flashed and another clap of thunder _boom_ ed out and she backed closer into his chest.

"Maybe we should get below deck…?" she asked warily, eyes flitting around the sky for the next flash and next boom.

"As you wish, Swan," he promised, kissing the top of her head. "Just let me anchor her down first?"

She nodded. "I'll meet you below," she whispered before scurrying below deck as fat, cold raindrops began to fall. The wind howled again, and the Jolly Roger lurched, and once again Emma fell to the floor. This time, however, she knocked her head against the boards of the deck. "Damn it!" she swore.

" _EMMA!_ " Killian screamed, throwing the anchor over the side of the ship and racing to her side in panic. Relief flooded his soul as she grumbled and rubbed her head. "Thank the gods you're okay," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her and holding his hand around the back of her head, only moving it after her painful " _Ow!_ ". Picking her up, Killian led them below deck and rested her on the bed in the captain's quarters. Little rivulets of rain slid from her wind and rain mussed hair down her face, and her eyes were filled with panic, yet he still thought she was beautiful. He pulled a chair away from the desk and positioned it next to the bed.

"You don't have to sit there, you know," she told him, "you could come here with me." His eyebrows raised slightly in curiosity as he shifted from the chair into the small bed, positioning her head and the pillow on his arm and reaching over with the other to twist off his hook. Emma snuggled in closer to his chest, seeking the heat he provided to warm her chilled bones. She shivered slightly and curled in closer as another crash of thunder filled the sky.

"Swan, you're freezing," he said, grabbing an extra blanket he kept for harsh nights on the sea. She tucked one side behind her and throwing the other end over Killian, but it did little to keep the heat around them. "Love, normally I'd be thrilled to say this, but you need to take off your clothes," Killian murmured. "They're wet and that's why you're cold. You need to dry off," he added when she shook her head slightly.

"Then you have to do the same, or you're gonna be cold too," she whispered.

"Aye, love. Do you want a shirt or anything?" he asked as he got out of the bed, turning away when he heard the rustling of fabric as Emma took her clothes off. Upon her soft _yes_ , he rummaged around in his drawers for any spare shirts. He found only one, tossed it over to her, and turned away once more to give her privacy. A soft cry filled the room, and Killian turned around to look at Emma; her hands were holding the back of her head, and her face was twisted in pain. He walked towards her quickly, privacy be damned, and gently moved her hands away. A nasty bump had started to form where she hit her head against the deck, and through her hair Killian could see the early colors of a bruise blooming across the injury.

"It hurts," she moaned quietly.

Worry filled Killian's mind once again. "Are you dizzy, love?" he asked softly. She shook her head, and winced. "Swan," his voice warned gently, earning a small nod from the woman on the bed. "I'm gonna cut the shirt off and you can put the other one on, if you can, okay?" he told blinked at him, and waited for him to take the wet fabric away. When he did, she tried to slip the dry one on, but couldn't. Killian's deft hand slipped it over her head gently, avoiding her bruise. Once the shirt was on, he helped her out of her wet jeans and removed his own wet garments before joining her in the bed and holding her close to his chest.

The storm rocked the ship from side to side, the motion too harsh for it to lull the couple to a state of relaxation. Thunder and lightning lit and filled the sky often, and with each _boom_ Emma scooched into Killian's chest just a little bit more. "Never liked them much," she replied plainly when he asked her about it. After a while, she gazed into Killian's eyes, losing herself in the clear, bright blue,a small smile toying with her lips despite the obvious pain and dizziness she still felt.

"What is it, Emma?" Killian asked, unable to keep his own smile off his face.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Killian," she murmured softly.

"Of course, Swan. I'll keep you safe, love, I promise," he assured her. "I'll always keep you safe."


	4. Come Wake Me Up

**Oh my gosh, it's been so long since I've last updated! I'm so sorry! Ive just had a bit of a spell of writer's block, and it'll probably be a while before I can update again since I have a summer-school thing at college for the next two weeks, which means no time to write for _Insight_. Sorry loves! I'll do my best to update as soon as I can!**

* * *

**Set after the season four finale. Loosely based on the song "Come Wake Me Up" by Rascal Flatts. Contains some dialogue belonging to the show**

 _Three Weeks Ago…_

"You guys figured a way to take the darkness out of me once. You need to it again...this time as heroes," his Swan shouted out at her parents as the darkness engulfed the former Evil Queen. Charming and Snow White just clung to each other, fear and panic shocking them into immobility.

Killian stepped forwards. "Emma, Emma! Please, don't do this!" he cried, eyes imploring her to reconsider.

Emma stepped forwards, keeping her eyes fixed on his. "I love you," she murmured quietly. Their foreheads touched, and then...Killian was being shoved away from her and her arm was thrown into the darkness. He could hear her yelps and cries as the darkness consumed her. He longed to snatch her from the gruesome evil surrounding his love, his home, his happy ending. He wanted to look away, to shut his eyes and pretend that this wasn't happening, but he couldn't tear his gaze away from his blonde-haired beauty. The darkness lifted her up into the night sky and then vanished, taking his Swan with it. Blood thrummed in his ears and the only other sound he could hear was the sound of metal dagger _clang_ against the wet pavement.

" _Emma!"_ he shouted. " _SWAN!"_ Killian sprinted forwards and threw himself on his knees. He scooped up the dagger and refused to believe that the name _Emma Swan_ was engraved upon it. "Swan, no, come back, I love you too, please come back," he sobbed out brokenly. Tears he hadn't known he was holding in slowly fell from his eyes. Killian was vaguely aware of hands on his shoulders, trying to comfort him as he shouted for his love to come back.

"No...no please no…"

* * *

 _Now…_

He sat in his room at Granny's, flask of rum in his hand. It'd been three weeks since Emma sacrificed herself to save Regina; three weeks since Emma confessed her feelings, her love for Killian, before she disappeared. The television was on, playing some pointless program that didn't interest him at all but one that Emma had liked. _Likes_ , he mentally chided himself, _we'll get her back eventually_. For a split second, his mind travelled to Emma. He thought of her smile, her laugh, her voice. The memory flashed through him, branding his heart with the white-hot seal of pain and loss. Killian closed his eyes tightly and took a long pull on his rum, relishing the way the strong liquid burned his throat and warmed his veins. He'd quit the stuff when he and Emma had become official, but since she'd disappeared...getting drunk was the only way to dull the heartache.

"Emma," he choked out. Tears formed behind his closed eyelids, threatening to escape. Memories kept flickering in his mind; him and Emma on their first official date, him and Emma in the Enchanted Forest when they went back in time, him and Emma in the alternate reality created by that blasted author, Emma smiling at him after she returned his heart, Emma telling Killian she loved him, Emma thrusting her hand into the inky darkness, Emma disappearing into the night sky, Emma, Emma, Emma…

Against his will, a tear fell from his watery blue eyes. The memories continued to bombard Killian's mind, further dragging him from the happiness that he had found just weeks earlier. His heart clenched in pain, throbbing with the loss of his love. A broken sob fell from his lips as the tears slipped from his eyes in a constant stream. He took another long pull from his flask, but the slow burn of intoxication did nothing to put out the fire of heartbreak coursing through his veins.

Killian had never felt pain this severe before. When Liam had died, Killian was devastated; his brother was gone. When Milah was murdered, Killian was heartbroken and outraged. But Emma had restored his ability to love and she had healed his heart. The darkness and insatiable craving for revenge on the Crocodile was gone, replaced by lightness, happiness, and love. Now, however, losing Emma...Killian was broken beyond repair. He felt like his heart was missing, even though Emma had returned it after Rumpelstiltskin was banished from Storybrooke. His love was gone, disappeared in a mass of swirling evil. Killian couldn't imagine what she was going through, what with her light magic warring with the darkness inside her. He worried about her every single day, especially the days when their leads to Merlin turned out to be dead ends. Those days crushed the hope inside of his heart and made him believe that he was never going to get her back, and that worried him deeply. Emma and her overly optimistic parents had taught him never to lose hope, that even the mere thought of hope was powerful, to not give up. But a part of him just couldn't accept that right now, not when they kept failing to find the sorcerer.

The pain and heartbreak flared again, burning higher than ever before. In despair, Killian threw the now-empty flask of rum against the wall with a shout. He dropped his head in his hand, fingers gripping his skull furiously. His hook dug into the armrest of the chair, making a pinhole in the fabric. Tears continued to fall, further blurring his vision. Anyone who saw him wouldn't even know it was him if he didn't have the hook defining his previous moniker. Killian Jones was a broken man, and once again love had stuck a dagger in his chest and pierced his heart. Even the pain from nearly getting it crushed by the former Dark One - oh how he hated to say former - paled in comparison to the pain he felt now. Loneliness was the key to darkness, and the only thing holding him back from falling over the edge into said darkness was that Emma could be saved by Merlin.

As the devastation continued to increase, Killian began to imagine that this was just a dream. He pretended that he was asleep and that this pain was just a horrible nightmare. He imagined that he would roll over and bump into Emma. If he did, he would holder closer than ever before and refuse to let her go. He would tell her that he loved her and that it was okay if she wasn't ready to say it.

"Come wake me up, Swan," he murmured into the empty air, "please come wake me up from this horrible dream, love."


	5. Music Speaks the Language of Our Love

****got this idea while browsing on Tumblr, so whoever this belongs to, take the credit for the general plotline! Will be adding my own AU to this****

Four months ago, Killian Jones traded his career as a performer for a life of domesticities when he fell in love with a blonde haired, green eyed beauty named Emma Swan. Four months ago, Killian Jones left the wild, unpredictable life of touring with his band for the life of relaxation, love, and happiness that he found in his soulmate.

Emma Swan was home one day, fighting off a flu that she caught from the kids she taught. Killian was away at work, running his music shop. The TV was on the fritz again, and she didn't have the energy to get up and fix it. She fumbled her hand around on the plush chair beside the sofa, in search of the laptop so she could watch Netflix. Upon opening it, music started playing from the Spotify browser Killian uses (Emma personally prefers 8Tracks). "What is this?" she mused aloud as she clicked on the operating playlist; it was entitled _ES._ The list was filled with all of her favorite songs, as well as some that she'd never heard of before. Songs like "I'll Keep You Safe" by Sleeping at Last, "Home" by Daughtry, those she recognized; but others she didn't. She let the music play, the melodies and harmonies swirling around her warmly. The songs filled the air, and suddenly Emma realized that the music on the playlist were all love songs. And, somewhere in the back of her medicine-fogged brain, Emma recognized some songs that Killian had played for her. A smile crept over her lips, and love washed over her.

"Swan?" she heard over the music, and she quickly snapped out of her love-filled haze.

"Living room!" she called out, her loud voice scratching her sore throat. She coughed, and Killian entered the room with a small smile and worry filling his eyes.

"Still not feeling great then, Emma?" he said lovingly, pressing a kiss to her hair. Emma shook her head and closed her eyes. "What's this?" Killian asked, reaching for the laptop that still rested on her lap that was still playing music.

A scarlet blush colored her pale cheeks as she mumbled, "Nothing."

"Ah, you found my list?" Emma nodded. "Like what you hear, then, Swan?" Another nod.

"Can you play for me, Killian?" Emma whispered softly.

"Of course, my lovely Swan," Killian murmured, kissing her forehead. "Right after I bring you some Tylenol, you're burning up, love."

Killian disappeared and returned moments later with his acoustic, some pills, and a small glass of water. Emma took the liquid and the pills obediently as Killian settled into the couch by her feet. She gently tickled him with her toes, eliciting a small chuckle from the man of her dreams. "Have you any requests, my dear?"

"Surprise me," she whispered.

Killian began to sing and play:

 _Tell me that you turned down the man_

 _Who asks for your hand_

' _Cause you're waiting for me_

…

 _All my senses come to life_

 _While I'm stumbling home as drunk as I_

 _Have ever been and I'll never leave again_

 _'Cause you are the only one._

Emma smiled and rested her head back on the sofa. Killian's soft voice filled the room and comforted her. As she closed her eyes, Killian picked a melody that easily bridged into a new song, one that she didn't recognize. Happy tears sprang to her eyes, and she smiled.

"You like that, love?"

Emma nodded, and Killian continued to play. It dawned on Emma that this was a song that he'd written for her, that's why she didn't recognize it. When the song was over, Killian laid his guitar down, looked up at his love and smiled, who was smiling back at him with tears in her eyes and a light blush coloring her cheeks.

"I love you," she murmured hoarsely as she began to feel the Tylenol kick in. Sleep tugged on her eyes and tried to pull her into its arms for a nice rest, but she fought it.

"I love you more, lass," Killian replied softly, "but you need your rest, I can see it in your eyes. Sleep for a while, my love, I'll be here when you wake up I promise." He kissed the top of her head, then her forehead, her nose, and then softly on her lips.

"Killian?" Emma asked quietly.

"Yes, love?"

"This couch has room for the both of us, you know."

"Aye, it does, would you like me to -"

"Yeah, it makes me feel safer."

Killian needed no further words. He toed off his shoes and lifted the blanket, gently settling himself behind his Swan and draped his arm around her middle. "You're safe now, my love," he murmured in her ear. "Rest now, Emma Swan."


End file.
